Can you tell me why (and in what context) you said that to your W?
The first time was in the context of discussing a separation(which she decided not to do for reasons I cannot explain). I basically said that I could not accept that we would live together as co-parents while she was carrying on an active affair in front of me and the kids. I did not make any direct statements about us being friends, etc. I just made it clear through my actions (e.g. - treated her as a party in business negociations, etc.).
MOST IMPORTANT: You make things clear to your WAH through your actions, not through your words!!!
Most recently, I asked her not to attend my birthday barbq at the neighbors (actually said I would prefer if she did not attend). This makes it clear that she is not my friend! If instead, I told her I cannot be her friend and asked her to attend, it would be obvious that my words are meaningless! At the same time, I keep it friendly when discussing logistics regarding the kids, school issues, etc. I never invite her to come with me to anything where the kids are not involved.
Hope this helps, SD
Me 41 W 41 Kids: S9 S7 Married 16 years Bomb dropped 2/2/07 Still living together! current thread
