It's definitely true that being able to differentiate is related to self-respect or as BB said, it is related to your ability to overcome any shame you feel about yourself. Therefore, the reason it is pretty much impossible to find a fully differentiated person is that it is pretty much impossible to find a person free of shame or fully self-respecting. I don't think you can simply adopt the attitude "Here I am. Love me warts and all." either. I think the best most of us can do is to fill in the margin where we fail at self-respect with self-acceptance instead of denial. For instance, I don't respect the fact that I ate 3 cookies for breakfast this morning (Although I might justify it with the fact that I lost some weight and I plan on doing my new dance workout dvd this afternoon- lol) but I accept that I have a weakness when it comes to cookies. If somebody had walked into the kitchen and mildly dissed me by saying something like "Cookies for breakfast, tsk, tsk." it wouldn't bother me because I fully accept the fact that I don't deserve respect for cookie-resisting-will-power. I might even appreciate the comment because it would signal me to put the rest of the freakin' cookies in the freezer.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
