I just do not like it one bit. But I am not sure what you can do about it. This is one of the toughest oes of all, really. You are in limbo land but it involves your kids. It probably is innocent but also very innappropriate. I, myself, would let a drunk male friend sleep it off on the couch, we have let dudes do that before when my H was here and the kids do not really notice. But it is an odd thing for a woman to do that. very odd. I would not. But I would also not go after a semi married man until his issues are resolved. Iwould hope people would have more classs, but they don't.
Me:38 H:39 MLC M:10 R:23 years D6 S3 Bomb: Easter, 2007 "Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
I dunno. The way I read it, it was so out in the open that I expect it wan't anything, at least on his part. Of course not knowing them, I could be wrong, but I just don't hink Amy's daughter would know as much as she does it there was anything going on. So, maybe use it as motivation, but don't make a 'thing' of it?
No one said she went "after" him, mkultra and it is presumptuous to think she had any other motive aside from seeing someone she knew 30+ years ago. I do not have blinders on either, my antennae are on full alert. I just refuse to put my focus on this woman or entertain any posts that do that. She's a setup. Clear and simple. And one I even knew was coming.
Now, if you want to talk to me about your impressions as to my interactions with my husband, feel free, because that's the only thing that I am concerned with. Him.
I asked her how Dad was, did he have a rough day at work and she said "I don't know. He's not here". I hesitated and said "what do you mean he's not there? Have you called his cell?" She said "He left a note". I said "what did the note say?" She said it said he was "going out to the hoochie bars and will be home later". Now my mind is flipping at this point but I'm TOTALLY cool, I swear. Next thing I know she AND HER DAD bust out laughing. They had played a little joke on me. and a funny one at that. Not sure if I passed or failed..... that's up to you
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It ain't cool. It makes me sick.
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But I won't stand still through it, I guarantee you that.
I playfully gave them both crap for bringing out the green eyed monster and we hung up because it was getting late. Where the heck he got the idea to screw with me like that, I have NO idea... because he's thinking of you, flirting if you will.
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But what if I've just been an ear? you are an ear but not "JUST" an ear. What if he was just practicing flirting to keep in the game? it doesn't work like that
What if he is attracted to her? what if? There's all types of attraction, and this isn't the type you need to worry about. Promise!
That is the only thought that makes me cry.
It might be (is) 100% innocent but change this word to "and" I promise, she's never seen anybody cut in like I am about to. it has a new more positive meaning/ more realistic!
Thoughts PLEASE...
Good to have you back...
cire
Me 48 X's vary S 27 S 18 Back with high school sweety after 30 years..
It almost surprises me to see you having so many doubts about your Husband's motives.
Take it for what it is worth... "she" is an old friend who spent the night, end of story. And she slept on the couch, AND.... your daughter would be the absolute first one to tell you if ANYTHING more was going on because she is a daddy's girl and there is no way in hell she would allow her dad to give another woman attention. Sh*t, she even has her moments when she doesn't want you interfering with her Dad.
Secondly, NO!!! Jeff is not practicing on you. He flirts with you, he wears the hat on purpose brcause he knows what it does to you. I honestly do not believe that he wants to play any head games with you, he doesn't seem the type.
As for the bad boy, go with your instincts. I am very protective of my kids, but I think and this is only my opinion, that if you are going to change the rules, the ones that Jeff has already put into place, you are going to have to find a way to talk to him without making him feel that you are going over his head.
Now Ms.Redneck, dig deep inside and find that self confidence you always have, and let go of the doubts in your head.
((((((((hugs)))))))
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
I like that your H is flirting with you. In person and on the phone. Him playing trick's on you with D, that's a good thing. You definately seem to be on the right track. But it may take another year or so, so don't get discouraged.
As for this female friend. Oh does that stink. My W had a male co-worker stay over night at her house once after a Christmas party that I was'nt invited to. I really wanted to beat the crap out of both of them, but I did'nt, I turned it over to God. I'm 99.9% sure nothing happened, did'nt worry much about it, just let it go. The choices she makes in life are between her and her God. She alone will have to answer for them come the judgement day.
Another time, one of the kid's told me that they had a wresting match with mom one evening, and different male co-worker who happened to be going through a D at the time, had taken part. What a nice vision that was. My W, my kid's and this ahole all in a cute little wrestling match, in my friggin house, at a time when she could barely even come into contact with me let alone wrestle with me. Well she heard from me that time. Not an angry outburst but more of a reality check. Basically told her that it was NOT OK with me. Now I did'nt have many things that were "not OK" with me while we were separated, so she got the message loud and clear. I did'nt have to give an ultimatum, she just knew I was'nt going to continue to stand for the M if she kept on with that kind of behaivior. She apologized and did'nt do it again.
So I think you have to pick your battles. I think for now I'd vote to let it go. If her name shows up again on the calendar, then you might have to have a heart to heart with H. An honest and loving, not angry, conversation. Basically, hey H, I love you, I want you, I want our family living under one roof together, but if you want someone else I understand. I would just appreciate if you would be honest with me so that I can move on with my life. In either case, you have an informant in the house that will likely keep you abreast of H's activities.
And as for this girl on the calendar. She does'nt hold a candle to you.
Love,
COG
My Story http://www.divorcebusting.com/forum...&Number=660444&page=2#Post660444
