changes in attitudes, changes in latitudes

[new_attitude]

Hi Matt,
I'm OK, just back from a few days visiting my parents with the kids. I've been meaning to respond on your thread (and to your email), but haven't been on the computer much.

I have been spending alot of time on my own with the kids in the past week, as H decided to go to a friend's cabin for 3 days and then we went away (w/o H) for 4. It has been exhausting.

Last night after we got back and the kids were in bed, I brought up the $ issue w/H. I had thought about it alot and didn't want him to think that what he did was OK (cutting the amount he transfers for household bills by almost 50%). I brought it up calmly and rationally, asked if it was just a temporary change. He said it was just for a couple of weeks, so he could have some "capital" and then we would discuss things (how much to transfer). I told him again that our expenses weren't going to go down, just because he wasn't going to be here. He said that he couldn't believe that our actual household bills were as high as I said! Like he didn't believe me after all of these years? So, I spent a half hour or so, writing down all of the monthly bills for the past 7 months and then showed him that the amount he had been transferring with each pay check was actually less than half of the average monthly bills. He looked at it, and then started making some calculations of his own. He thinks that he shouldn't have to pay half of the house bills. I told him the fair thing would be to add his new bills to our household bills and then divide that by 50%. He didn't really respond. Then I went to bed.

SO, that was unpleasant. I hate this.

I found out this AM that he went to sleep at the apt. I really feel like I am on my own now.