quick sitch: I, the WAW doesn't leave H. I stay with the tiniest of glimmers that R can change. That H can be a friend instead of a foe. I tell H about EOM and ONS, H does not freak out! I is still reluctant to commit.
That all changed yesterday...
I did some more letting go of OM ~ seems that task is nearly complete - hooray!
H did a wee little 180 yesterday that about knocked me off my feet! It actually *scared* me (just for a second) to think that he was distancing himself from me! I so quickly realized that this (distancing) is what I want that I said "Hey! That's great! Go to the gym everyday, meet new friends!... Just don't go leaving me with the kids all by myself again... I need those experiences too, ya know?!?"
So, anyway - I got home. Took H outside for a sec, told him ~ "Hey, I really think we CAN work this out. I'm REALLY sorry for being so mean lately. I'm going to let you love me, and I hope you can let me love you too."
Not to say it's all milk and honey now... One of the "old" things crept up last night... (one of those things I HATE about our R) but, I can't let that change the fact that we have a new opportunity to change that today.
