atgo, I appreciate your input...wish I could believe. trust me, mostly I see the zombie/fog-man. its very rare to see anything out of him that even looks like self-awareness/ openness/real communication. he has just done it enough to reel me back in, at least a little bit. it has happened 3x...each time I have told him, for real, that I was done/ending things. most of the time he does not tell me what he is feeling, not like this. he's very good at telling me how he isn't in love with me anymore, how he is in love with ow, how I am just a big fat failure (meaning me, not him) etc, etc. That is what I mostly hear.
I'll be honest and say I don't think I'm anything more to my h after that e-mail than I was before it. I do think he has guilt, don't get me wrong. according to my friend (she told me this last time I ended things), with his personal history/co-dependent tendencies, he has no choice but to feel his balls are in a vice over this. But it doesn't mean anything changes...doesn't even mean he wants anything to change. Just means he's going to do what he wants, but will feel an enormous amount of guilt/self-loathing for it.
So for me, yep, DB-ing will continue. but only in the sense that I am going to GAL, and such. I really need to get, "save my marriage" out of my mind.
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
