Thank you both for your generosity of spirit, and not for the first time either.
Lissie, you have posted to me and made me smile before, you always make me feel better. Thank you.
LiN, buddy, you were a great source of support for me last Spring and I have thought about you a few times. I agree with what you say completely. Since I met with my W on Sunday the situation's been in my thoughts a lot but I've also been feeling more at peace too.
We had a few positive interactions via text yesterday but I do have zero expectations of our full relationship being restored. I can see us being good friends in the future and whilst part of me does still want the full package, I think my W is never really going to be capable of doing that again, certainly not with me anyway but maybe not with anyone. She is a hurt, damaged person and still isn't doing anything serious about dealing with that. I was hurt and damaged too but despite still being sad, I'm so much stronger.
On Sunday I thought it was really interesting how we both dealt with the conflict in what we were saying. I was strong enough to acknowledge my faults and didn't need to 'point score' and convice her of anything whereas her responses were much more like how she would have dealt with disagreement in the past (rolling her eyes or shaking her head when I talked about my feelings for example). It made me realise just how much I've grown whereas she still seemed stuck in old patterns.
Interestingly, when she saw I was no longer dealing with conflict in the same way she softened and started apologising to me.
I hope life is getting better for you day by day. It does get so much easier, doesn't it?
