Lil Oh, Lou... don't kid yourself about this. OK, she will fall apart. Think how wonderful I was, how nice I was to her, praise me to the hilt, then do what I said, throw money at every problem she has.
I know you were devastated when your H died so will listen to what you said about your situation and experiences.
BB and her mother didn’t have a good R before her mother’s death. It was only after MIL was in the extended nursing and rehabilitation center that BB started to act like a loving daughter. Before, BB was stand-offish and didn’t visit her mother that often. I went more than BB did.
When MIL died, I had few regrets and almost no sadness. I did most of what I could when MIL was alive. Same thing happened with BB’s uncle.
What bugs me is why all the praise and sadness after someone is dead and treat them poorly or with hold affection when they are alive.
I am sure you did all you could for your H before he died. The way I see things, that is what you should do and “all you can do.”
Maybe I have some of that detachment disorder Mr. HW has.
