Once I move on, it is over, we will not be friends, partners, or anything else other than co-parents.
If you have not made this 100% clear, you should!
The only thing I've said in that direction is that I may never forgive him for this. Actually, I wish I hadn't said that. (His response, by the way, was that he'd have to live with that.)
I'm not ready to say that to him, because I don't know that it's true. We would certainly never be the kind of friends we were. When he said that thing about being friends, I said that for me our friendship was based on trust, and that trust has been shaken. (He said, "I think that's an understatement." Duh.)
But for me, what I'm most interested in is the kids. I think that part of the damage done to children in D is the bitterness of the partners toward one another, and I'm determined that that not happen. I can't coparent with someone I don't care for and respect (that's definitely going to be a tough one!), or if I did, I couldn't hide my bad feelings from my kids.
Anyway, I may reach that point sometime, but for right now I'm working on my anger and trying to sympathize with him more. I think this will be good for our R (whatever it is), and it definitely helps with acting cheery around him. And if I were to say something like that, I'm pretty sure two things would happen. One, he'd see it as a ploy to control him. And two, it'd be another "I'll have to live with that" kind of thing.
Can you tell me why (and in what context) you said that to your W?
