The other day a friend who is getting divorced was encouraging me to join a club that meets at night, but just once a month. I said, "no, I'm getting along well with my husband now, and if I start going out at night, he doesn't like it, and he gets grumpy." She said, "he shouldn't get grumpy. He should want you to go out and do things. You should tell him that." And I said, "what he should do doesn't matter. I know that when I go out at night, he reacts by getting grumpy. So I don't want to go out at night."
I went home and thought, that's why I'm still married and she's getting a divorce. I am willing to accomodate someone else and his feelings, and she wants the other person to react the way she thinks he should react.
