I know everyone says you are supposed to move on with your life while you are DBing, but it is so hard.
I couldn't agree with you more. It is the hardest thing in your life watching the man that you love and had so many dreams with walk away. All we can do now is keep repeating the serenity prayer to ourselves. I don't think it means we are giving up, just letting us know that right now all we can do is to work on ourselves.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change; courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time; Enjoying one moment at a time; Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace; Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will; That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him Forever in the next. Amen.
Hugs, Yoyo
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
Well, H never showed, and I am glad. I did not want to see him if he couldn't take a day out of his screwed up life to come hear and sort through the past and face the reality of the divorce. I probably won't hear from him or see him until the courtroom and I am glad. I am wiping my hands of this mess and his drama. He is not going to change. It is sad to know that the end of my marriage is so near, but in a sense I am relieved because that is the end I need to really move on with my life. It signifies the day in which I can get off this rollercoaster ride and stop thinking about every word H says and what it means and trying to find hope in anything. It is the beginning of my freedom as a single woman. It is the day that I start living for me and only me. It's the day that I truly stop walking on eggshells. He made his grave and he is going to have to lie in it. I did everything I could.
Today was one of those days in church when I felt like the priest was talking directly to me. I was sitting by my 2 SIL's and BIL...it couldn't have worked out any better if I tried. The message was that it it our responsibility to not always take the easy road with someone. You can't just sit back and say that everything is ok...it's your responsbility to help someone do the right thing. He said sometimes you just need to turn to someone and say "You are acting stupid." I tapped my SIL when he said that. He said that God forgives and Jesus is there to help us, but we need to deal with the sin in our lives first. If only H would have heard the sermon.
You are a wonderful woman. It won't be long before some man realizes that. Unfortunately, for your husband it will be too late for him. Hang in there I know good things are coming your way.
Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are. -- Bernice Johnson Reagon
I went and saw my IC counselor tonight. She helped me realize that this for the best. She said he does the same stuff everytime...pulls you back in with a phone call or an email and then does something like bringing OW home. She said you really have done everything that you could. You told him from day 1 that you wanted to work on your marriage and you have fought this battle with your dignity and integrity intact. On a side note, she told me that she was pregnant today. She was holding off on telling me because of my whole situation for as long as she could...she didn't know how I would take it. Her husband and her have been married for 8 years and have been trying to get pregnant for 5. They have done some infertility treatment, but never got pregnant. Miracles do happen, they got pregnant on their own. Hopefully, in my new life, I will have the same fate.
Hope - I grieve for you and your situation. I am genuinely sad that you are in this position... the very same position that I will be in in six months. Our needy, depressed spouses... seeking out from others what they could easily have at home...
Regarding my situation.... when it's all over, after I process what has occurred, after I reach the point that I begin dating again, I hope that I can find a woman as attractive, articulate, and faithful as you are. You are indeed "a catch," and I have no doubt that both of us will land on our feet with the right person for each of us.
We will find our "match." They are out there, and we will be delighted to have them in our lives... And they will not hurt us. And they will not disappoint us. Ever.
Regarding my situation.... when it's all over, after I process what has occurred, after I reach the point that I begin dating again, I hope that I can find a woman as attractive, articulate, and faithful as you are. You are indeed "a catch," and I have no doubt that both of us will land on our feet with the right person for each of us.
We will find our "match." They are out there, and we will be delighted to have them in our lives... And they will not hurt us. And they will not disappoint us. Ever.
Mark, You will find someone but remember people change. Our W was our perfect match. We loved /love them more than life itself. But we changed. This is what we need to work on. Yes we will find someone again but if we don't adapt to the ever changing environment we will be right back here. We need to break this circle. I think you have learned allot. We all have. The most awesome thing would be that two people that have practiced DBing got together. Because unless who ever we meet has gone through what we have they will never understand.
Husband
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Regarding my situation.... when it's all over, after I process what has occurred, after I reach the point that I begin dating again, I hope that I can find a woman as attractive, articulate, and faithful as you are. You are indeed "a catch," and I have no doubt that both of us will land on our feet with the right person for each of us.
Thank you Mark. I really appreciate the compliment. It means a whole lot to me for everyone on here to give me such nice comments. I always wanted to keep my integrity intact throughout this, and even when I was spilling my guts on the crazy things my H did to me, I must have come across as a sincere, kind person...that means a lot to me. It's on to better things.
M:28, D finalized: 8/28/07 Current Thread
"When life gives you a hundred reasons to cry, show life that you have a thousand reasons to smile."
I found out my niece (she's really H's niece) met OW this past weekend. H has no problem pushing her and this mess on everyone. She said she didn't say anything to her but OW introduced herself. My niece said my name is XXXX. She said she couldn't say anything else. I told her had to tell me if OW was prettier or nicer. She said....You are every guy's dream...skinny, blonde, blue eyes, smart, successful. Hell no, she isn't prettier than you. And I wouldn't give her the chance to prove she's nice, so I really don't know what type of person she is.
This all made me feel a little better and a little worse all at the same time. I know I shouldn't care about OW, but that's easier said than done.
I made an appointment to get my hairlighted this week. The divorce hearing is on Tuesday, and I am going to make sure I look smokin' hot, so even the judge thinks WTH my H is thinking divorcing me.
