I am going to try my best to cram everything since Thursday into one post and not forget anything. It's nothing big so don't get all excited.

I went over to the house late Thursday and had dinner with Jeff and the kids before the ice cream social. It was nice. Casual and a little rushed so we could leave on time. When we got back, Jeff had gone to his friends house to help him move a boat. D11 promptly got on the phone and S14 hit the couch. I washed the dishes. After a half hour or so he came in and was in a good mood. Lots of flirting and teasing ensued. The usual banter with the kids ending up mortified. He had on the hat. Unfortunately, I was kinda tired and had the beginnings of a headache or I might have grabbed the bull by the horns then. Lesson learned. At any rate, S14 and I got home about 10:30 or so if I recall correctly. Friday I picked up D11 and took her skating. H was still at work. I left a note that I would be back by to leave a little money for her because she was going to Kings Dominion with the neighbors on Saturday. I figured if I gave her $15 and he gave her $15 that would be more than enough for her to blow since her ticket and lunch were paid for. When I stopped back by, I did not stay long as it was apparent he was tired. I said I'd see him later and left. All was well. Saturday night about 10:30 I called to see if she was back from KD. She answered the phone. I asked about her day and she had a great time of course. I asked her how Dad was, did he have a rough day at work and she said "I don't know. He's not here". I hesitated and said "what do you mean he's not there? Have you called his cell?" She said "He left a note". I said "what did the note say?" She said it said he was "going out to the hoochie bars and will be home later". Now my mind is flipping at this point but I'm TOTALLY cool, I swear. Next thing I know she AND HER DAD bust out laughing. They had played a little joke on me. Not sure if I passed or failed.....I playfully gave them both crap for bringing out the green eyed monster and we hung up because it was getting late. Where the heck he got the idea to screw with me like that, I have NO idea...

Yesterday, S14 and I went over there during the day since he was working. Basically I go to keep her company or take her somewhere if I can because he works 12 hours. Anyway, I took my scrapbook with me and finished it. At one point - here's where you'll have to excuse me while I puke - I was standing in front of the refrigerator looking at the calendar and I noticed on August 11th it said "BL was here". I turned to my daughter who seemed to have known what I saw and I just said "who is BL?". She said "Betty Lynn. A friend of Dad's since he was 15 years old". I just stood there and I thought I was fine but the kid must have seen the emotions flash across my face because she said "Now mom, they're ONLY friends! She spent the night and Dad SLEPT ON THE COUCH". \:o Needless to say that did not help matters but she said the woman (not my first term of choice) lives in Suffolk and that's a long way away so...okay. I was freaking out on the outside. The inside was another story entirely in those first moments.

I got over it quickly though the initial shock did throw me for a freakin loop I never saw coming.

He got home and we were watching deer play in the field next to the house. I was clearing out my scrapbook stuff kinda hurriedly because sometimes I feel like I don't want to get in the way. Once I had my purse on my arm and my stuff in my hands, he started to talk. That led us into a conversation with D11 about a 15 year old boy she's talking to which her brother informed us has been in a lot of trouble. We put the smackdown on that friendship real quick and then S14 and I left.

Now here's my dilemma tonight...

One, I am absolutely not at peace over the decision to tell D11 she couldn't even talk to this boy. Instinct tells me stick to my guns and that's what I am going to do. What troubles me is that he has told her he's not into all that "bad stuff" anymore and that those things "were not smart to do". People deserve second chances, right? You feel me on this and know where I'm speaking from, I'm sure. Make no mistake though, D11 won't be within 50 feet of this kid. But what about the people who really change and just need someone to believe in them to turn it all around...what about young people that screw up and no one ever expects better of them anymore...this is also stemming from the work I do in which I see so many screwed up kids in and out of the system. I don't want to make broad sweeping judgments but I won't let my daughter be someone's guinea pig either.

Now my real dilemma.
I've called the house and no one is home

Care to guess what I'm thinking?

It ain't cool.
It makes me sick.

But I won't stand still through it, I guarantee you that.

If a man is done with a woman, they don't flirt with them.
If there aren't any feelings, minutes don't turn into hours just talking.

But what if I've just been an ear?
What if he was just practicing flirting to keep in the game?

What if he is attracted to her?

That is the only thought that makes me cry.

It might be 100% innocent but I promise, she's never seen anybody cut in like I am about to.

Thoughts PLEASE...