Yesteday was pretty good for the most part. Went to the beach during the day. Had dinner. After dinner W and I were alone on the deck. She was looking off into the distance. I could see she was thinking / contemplating. Asked her what was wrong. Said I would like to be there as a friend for her to talk to. She said she felt awkward talking to me like she would one of her other close friends. Then I had a case not being able to stop my mouth. I've been wanting to apologize for several things I know have contributed to our R falling apart. I mentioned three things that I've done or not done that I know has pushed her away. She listened, but eventually left the deck and went downstairs to bedroom. I followed a little while later. She was reading a magazine. Asked her if she needed space and then left. She eventually went to sleep with daughter. I had a long talk with my sister that evening. We are staying at her house in OBX. First time I had talked to her about the situation. She approached me first. Could tell that there was something up with us.
Today, she said she was planning on going shopping at the outlets and then asked if I wanted to come along. Said I did. I was again expecting the worst. Thought she would want to talk about D on the drive there, but nothing ever came up. I was actually a very nice afternoon. After shopping, we went to the beach and I told her at some point that my sister now knew the situation. Should have left it at that, but then my mouth just kept going. Need to better control that, although she did ask what other things I had talked about with sister. I think I took a bit of a step backwards for today. I'll work on tomorrow.
