CeMar.....were we seperated at birth or something?

My wife gave me oral and anal when we first dated....(we had known each other for over a year.....long story, but it wasn't like we didn't know each other)

After we married, the "swinging from the chandeliers" continued for a few months. (my first "backdoor" experience and my first snowball)

But then the whole thing went south. (another *very* long story)

I really grew to resent her....even *hate* her for a very long time.

There were other issues....she is bipolar, and eventually had to be treated for it. But at the same time....I had to give her room to "find herself". She was doing what she was doing for all the wrong reasons, and fooling herself in the process.

She did *completely* stop giving me blowjobs for a very long time. I explained to her how much they ment to me on an emotional and intimate level, but I also told her that if she didn't *want* to, then it was not worth it anyway. I tried not to push it, but the arguement went back and forth for a long time.

After awhile, I just started to appreciate what I had, when I had it. After all......vanilla missionary sex given out of *want and desire* is better than a "porn star blow job" given out of token service. Once I really began to accept this, and let her have her sexuality on her terms, and also began to focus on bringing everything I could to the table without expecting anything in return.......only wanting to make the most of my marriage. I was plesantly surprised with the results.

My wife is still not the wanton porn star she was when we were first getting together.......but she's much more than she was two years ago. And that's because I let her do it on her terms. Always communicating what it meant to me....but never *pushing* her to be what I wanted.

Desire can be like a hiding kitten. You can look all over your house for it and not find it.....but as soon as you give up and curl up on your couch to watch Letterman.....it will crawl right into your lap.

It doesn't come out perfect....but it comes out better than it is now..