Do some 180's in your sex life, etc. Start doing things that may be a little out of your comfort zone. That's what I did once things started getting rekindled w/ my H and he's still around. He finally "figured it out." You need to let him see that he could lose you also.

I wouldn't confront him about the EA right now. I would try to just get things a little more exciting, etc. between the two of you. Start being a bit different in different areas, like I said in your sex life would be one. Show him that he doesn't want to lose you, that you are the woman he wants. Sometimes M gets a bit mundane and an EA is just a little excitement. Spice things up w/ the 2 of you before it goes any further.

Me: 38
H: 35
S4, S5, S10
Bomb 01/07
Wanted D - nothing would change his mind
Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb
Piecing 04/07
Deployed for a year 05/07
Still Piecing 2010
M 11 yrs 05/10