Hey Aud, I don't think he could keep up the "good act" for that long either. I think he must be sincere.
As far as thinking about the past and what he was really doing at times, that's part of the healing process. BTDT. You will get past it. It really, truly sucks thinking that they chose another woman over us for a time, but he has stayed w/ you and that's what you need to focus on. Any of that other stuff is just negative emotions that will do nothing positive for you, your mental health, your well-being nor rebuilding your M. I know, easier said than done some days, but you'll get there.
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10