WAW filing for D

[Willing NJ H]

My W feels like she told me. I can;t say for sure, But I do not remeber her actually saying I am unhappy. She asked if I thought counseling would work. She asked if I wanted to do diff things together. She always asked me, but never told me what she wanted. Never said, I would like us to go to counseling. I honestly do not know if it would have mattered. I was keeping everything in, and wasn't trying to understand the divide between us. My hope is all but gone. Just a sliver for now. She is not one to change her mind - right or wrong. I have opportunity to interact with her, probably more so than the initial 30 day separation. I can only hope that she will like what hse sees as I work on making myself happy without her. It's so difficult on days like today when I can't get my mind off of her. Good times, bad times, what ifs. Why can't she just take this opportunity with me?

DlT, this sounds so much like my sitch, that I could've written the same exact words. I have no idea if we can get through to them at all. She thought she told me, I know she never said it clearlt or outright, and I also know that I probably wouldn't have received it as well as I would today. The thing that gets me the most, is everyone says that she will probably realize it after we've both moved on and say "what the hell did I do?" after it's too late.

I guess Kelly hit the flip side of my question and one of the reason I'm still trying. My W failed me, but I also failed her. I wasn't happy and I didn't bring it up either. I thought my unhappiness was all work and weight related, but there was a large element of not being happy with her that I was pushing off and blaming on other things. Sounds a little odd, but I felt like we were in love, so it couldn't be her fault I was this unhappy.

I hear ya HEIM! I felt we were had enough going for us, to get through the tough times some day. I never dreamed she would give up without trying as a team!


HANDFUL, i've never seen your posts before, but awesome advice. I found some of your points heklpful as well, and don't have much to add. Good stuff!

DLT, I know i'm hitting the begining of the stage that NOMO and HEIM are in. Want it to work, am starting not to like her a whole lot, and don't like the person I see her becoming. I'm breaking this thought process, but I guess it's all part of the process. After I began detaching more, I started seeing things a little different. I don't know that my W will ever change her stubborn mindset, but I know i'll be happy with me no matter what happens. Things do get easier, just be patient brother.