I believe what Cobra is trying to say is... there isn't anything wrong with feeling good when someone delivers a compliment, or feeling bad when someone delivers a put down. You cannot control what another will do.
There is a difference between discerning information (taking it into account), and allowing compliments/criticisms define or change who you are.
I will ask my dance coach, if he is not delivering enough positive feedback, according to me, if I am doing something right or wrong. If he says, "you are doing great," Yippee!!! I am doing it right. Good. I keep going.
If he says... "no, you are doing it wrong," and quite honestly, I don't have to prompt him for that one... Yippee!!! I have something specific, concrete to work with.
If he says, "you'll never make it as a competitive dancer..." how I respond to THAT... is all within MY power, and will determine my level of differentiation, or not, and whether I can continue the positive enmeshment needed to dance with another person (and do it well).
