Trying to set those goals!

[Dom R]

Hrrrrmmmm....

Well, i certainly could be wrong. i dont claim to always be right.

Some comments:

- when he said "the sex is confusing you", I think he really meant the sex is confusing HIM. distracting him from his goal of screwing around.
It's stopping him from detaching from you.
I personally think that detaching from you is bad.

- as for "serving yourself to him"... i was picturing the other way around. It's about him, serving YOU, so to speak.
If he at any point had the feeling that the sex was for him... then you would be doing it wrong
if you dont understand what I mean, then its probably better not to do it. Too bad, though.

-If he took a month to wake up last time... ugh.

This guy has some very.. very.. bad patterns.


It will probably take you more than you did last time.
Last time, you were "strong", but still passive. You let him come to you.
You have a basic choice, of trying to wait him out again, and seeing if the same thing happens... or trying something stronger.
The sex idea is one way.

You can choose whether to use sex as a "date me" carrot, or use it as an "i can be strong" tool.
either way has potential benefits. either way has potential drawbacks, too.

drawback of carrot: he just may not be interested enough in the sex you had, to come back for it. he may decide to just keep looking. IF he finds something, he's not coming back for a long while. If he just is unlucky, then maybe he'll be back in a month.

drawback of tool: well, it kinda blows the "date me for sex" angle. If you did it on a regular basis, anyway.
But if you did it as a one-time thing, to see how you felt, and how he felt about it... maybe not.

It comes down to "why is he looking elsewhere"?
He could be looking for "more exciting".
"A challege" is part of "more exciting". but not the only part of it.


PS: men dont remember appointments well. hes probably forgotten about the wedding. you should remind him and ask him about it.


PPS: If you're going on the "you better do (or not do) XYZ, if you want to date me." then I think it definately makes sense to NOT let him back in the house whenever he feels like it.