I think there is a lot going on here and on Burg's thread which is talking about the same thing. We think that doing things for/with others is what makes us happy because we seek other-validation so strongly. If we become well-differentiated then it is easy to think of the things that would make us happy that don't depend on other people. I think ART is the big one here. Art (of whatever form) is something you do for yourself, you are pleased with the result because you like it not because anyone else does. Making something beautiful (in your own eyes) and doing it in such a way that it absorbs your full attention while you do it - that's happiness.
If someone comes along and says 'wow isn't that wonderful' does that really make any difference to how you feel about what you've done?
Fran
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
