As I understand the idea, differentiation means you re immune to compliments or criticism (was it Lil who said that?) I may be wrong, but I interpret differentiation to be sort of an emotional dead zone, in which two people stay together purely out of choice and not out of an emotional bond.
I think that that describes not differentiation but dissociation.
I would disagree. Immunity and choice do not necessarily imply disassociation. IF you can accept immunity as a measure of 'level of susceptibility,' then immunity implies that YOUR state will not affect MY state, unduly. That does not mean I am not empathetic to it. It just means I not willing to roll in your sh!t with you... but by all means, please, have a merry time while you are there. Or, if you are unhappy, let me stand, quiet, next to you, for support, while you regain yourself.
My standing next to you, while you regain yourself, is a CHOICE. It has nothing to do with 'love.'
If you are happy, let me not steal it from you, or try to make it my own. If I do, hopefully, you can stand still, and accept and own your happiness, while I hopefully face myself. For you are no less worthy of happiness than any other being, including during a time when I am trying to 'steal' it from you.
