That seems okay. It would be a problem if it was the bunny-girl part of your psyche yelling out, "Look how much he digs me! He must really be into me if he's willing and able to do all this!!"
No, it's pretty clear what he's "into" when monkey-girl is on the merry-go-round and, unlike CeMar, I don't really think of that as being "me." - LOL
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I can see how that would be an issue for me as well, or anybody really, not just you. That's where the self-validation comes in...believing you can get that again from somebody else and do a pretty good job yourself in the meantime. Having the ability to look forward to repeating the event rather than needing it with a hint of desperation.
Yeah, it's actually kind of amusing when I try to think that way because I'll be like "You can always date a guy with an Israeli accent who gives great head or a Hispanic youth with a serious breast fetish or a lumberjack type who will do you against a tree etc." There isn't any specific sexual sensation that I crave and need some generic guy to do for me again. It's more like I just want sexual/sensual sensations that are high quality and unique. That's just my personality overall. I don't care if I eat Thai or Ethiopian or Irish Pub or Mexican but I don't want bland.
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That's a little bit of a red flag because it makes it seem like you're not in it for the sensations, you're in it to have someone else willing and able to provide you those sensations.
I guess the point I was trying to make above is that I like high quality, novel sexual sensations and it's kind of hard to do yourself "novel". But probably I'm not using my imagination. Now that I've given it a little thought probably what I need to do is start MB in unusual places like in my car or at the beach. Probably I need better music too.
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Btw, I have a friend who can make herself squirt using her rabbit. I'm guessing one would have to be totally in the moment, concentrating on themselves, without the distraction of fantasy, in order to make that happen. Take it as a challenge and let me know how it goes...
I actually don't have a huge desire to do that again with or without a man. Maybe I'll work on the no-touch orgasm using my kegels. Once I've got that down there will be no limit to the interesting places I can MB!
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
