Trying to set those goals!

[Dom R]

Hmm. lots of "big issues" here.

That one. When I was heavy, he left me at home. He was ashamed of me.

That says that he views others' opinions of you, as important to him. but that's not what I asked, really.

Note that it was the same issue (you being overweight) that made you unattractive to both other people, and HIM.
Of the two, I'd say that you being unattractive to HIM at that time, was the more important. Just not the only thing of importance.
He left you at home, not because you "couldnt appeal to other men". He left you at home, because it made HIM look bad.
People may make nasty remarks about you being overweight. However, they also make nasty remarks about HIM, being out with you.

When he broke up with me when we were dating, I said "that's fine. You'll be back." And I went about my business. Of course, it was much easier because we didn't live together. He was "dating" someone else during our 'break'. (I only found out because his son mentioned it.)
Then one night, he called for a booty call and I (maybe stupidly, maybe not) went over there. Around that time is when he quit seeing the other girl and "picked" me.

Oooo.. okay, major stuff to think about here.
This was after he was divorced the first time, yes?

Anyways... unlike the stock market disclaimers.... "past performance IS a good (but not infallible) indicator of future performance".

You thought you would play hard to get.. and it didnt work. He doesnt work like that.

You gave him what he was looking for... and he stuck with you.

"going dark" would seem to be the antithesis of "go with what works".


I'm going to stop here, and post a separate thing, becaue I'd like you to absorb this one by itself. but then read and reply to my next one specifically.