Corri's Workshop

[Corri]

Okay. Yes, this can get confusing, and I often get confused myself on this. Let's take a step back.

I'll take me, for an example.

1. My PURPOSE in life is to be a well-balanced, happy woman, with passion.

I had to define what each of those three things meant to me, not anyone else. I thought about each. I thought about what it would feel like to be each, imagined it, and then started all over being all three at the same time. And I had to keep it really general, in order for it to work over time (because I will change the things I do, and my opinions on what things/feelings fall under each of those categories is going to change over my life-time).

In order to begin to experience the purpose of ME, I also thought, and imagined, about what it would feel like to NOT be each, and NOT be all three, at the same time. (That wasn't too hard.)

(NOTE: GGB, this is why I thought it very important for you to feel in what part of your body your emotion(s) was occurring. It helps you become of aware of it, one, and two, it helps YOU to identify, in your own language, what you are feeling. It doesn't matter what anyone else would call it).

K. (Mind you, I was doing this over weeks with three shrink, and giving him the same arguments you are all giving me). To give you an illustration of exactly what I am talking about:

LM:

You know, Corri, the question or direction you gave regarding being aware of your feelings is in large part responsible for my ability to even begin to answer this. I really wasn't aware of how I was feeling these, I just kind of, well, felt. Now I am aware of this melancholy in my chest, just beneath my sternum. It is amplified by any gloomier moods, and remains the same during my happy moments, which I seem to feel higher, in my head and upper chest.

EXACTLY. EXACTLY. EXACTLY. If anyone wants to know, there is a more philosophical meaning to each region of the body, and what it indicates when feelings occur in those regions, but I think we should leave it out for now).

So for LM, the goal it to remove the underlying gloom that keeps 'happiness' from infusing the entire mind/body/spirit. But that is kind of jumping ahead.

OKAY. What makes you happy.

The way I personally defined 'what is happy,' to me, is the ability to keep my feelings in awareness and balance as I experience different levels of stress during the day. If I can keep myself in a balanced 'state,' regardless of what is going on around me, then I can focus on whatever it is I am doing, with enjoyment. If I can do all that, my result (in part, cause there is more to this) is being happiness.

So. Cobra, as you allowed yourself to imagine restoring your car, what did you feel and where did you feel it? Did you feel a surge? A bit of a smile? why? A bit of passion, even?

Let's go back again to LM:

I am absolutely happiest when I am able to completely surrender to my muse while playing the acoustic guitar. I was trying to find a way to express that without sounding so, well, prissy or artsy but that wording seems to be the best. I am usually able to feel this way while in a setting much like Cobra was describing. While I'm camping by myself in a nearly empty campground, late at night by a fire. In the winter, I'll stay up and tend the fireplace after everyone has gone to bed, draw a cool glass of wine, break out the guitar and just burn it down. On a beach, yep. On the Blue Ridge parkway at a secluded overlook, absolutely. That feeling of complete abandon will not always come over me, but when it does, it feels like your soul spilling out onto the strings.

This is exactly it. It is the act of creating, with passion.

I wonder if I could bring myself to completely surrender to my life?

I would only insert two words, at the end... and that would be... 'with passion.'

Ah. Here is where the specific activities enter the picture. And no, just like you have to leave out other people, you have to leave out cost... at first. You also have to remain realistic. For example, walking on the moon would really gig my day/life. The likelihood of that happening???? See what I mean?

But. There isn't anything any of you have mentioned, besides winning the lottery (and studies have shown that lottery winners are no more happy than the rest of us... because they still lack a sense of purpose.) that is really too far fetched.

Let us go back to the purpose of the exercise. It is mainly to get you to refocus on yourself. And just as if you were in a brainstorming session, there are NO WRONG ANSWERS at first. You can later go back and weed out what is realistic for you or not. The point is to let go, with abandon.

A little story on me. So my shrink finally gets me to a point of truly understanding the exercise. I went back three weeks later, in tears, because I couldn't think of a SINGLE ACTIVITY. I said, "I can't answer your question, and that really, really bothers me."

And he said, "Good. It should. That's the whole point."

I'm really impressed with you men, I have to say. Imconfused0807, I'm REALLY impressed with your list. And playing hockey can count in the mix, as long as you can find a pick up game. (No, I'm not from Michigan, but my bf is, and I'm in DEEtroit quite frequently... I LOVE the Red Wings).

But guys, THIS is what you HAVE to stop.

- I used to build boats and wouldn’t mind building another one someday.

Leave out all the crap around what you enjoy doing for YOU.

REWORD: I enjoy building boats. I want to build another.

K. So maybe you can't build a 16ft boat. But you could build a ship in a bottle. Or a wooden one for your son.

Hairdog likes to sail. He may not be able to buy one, or go sailing, but he can walk around a marina, talk to people, touch the boats...

I LOVE horses. I love to ride. Can't afford a horse or get anywhere right now that I can ride regularly. But I can walk through barns... smell the hay, the stalls, the leather... it sends me to another place and time.

Martelo. What purpose does a tiger have?

My answer? Mu.

GGB.

I'd like to try my hand at restoring an old car or building an airplane.

Start small, with a few models. See where it takes you and your imagination.

Visit a local airport. If you are shy, and you WANT to overcome as a means of reaching your personal goals... what can you do, specifically, that can get you to this?

Corri