WAW filing for D

[dlt1]

but there was a large element of not being happy with her that I was pushing off and blaming on other things. Sounds a little odd, but I felt like we were in love, so it couldn't be her fault I was this unhappy.

I hear you. I either didn't want to admit her faults, or I rationalized away my needs as unneccesary.

Sorry, I didn't mean to get off the subject of your sitch, and I hope you can find some advice in all of that. Take care.

I take a lot from what you posted. I can't get my head straight on what I am doing for me, b/c I always think about the effect it could have, or I hope it to have, on W and our M.
My biggest change needed is to delve deeper into my W's feelings, express mine openly and in control, and put forth effort to engage in activities with my W. How am I doing this while separated and staring a Divorce in the face?
1. I am unsure of digging into W right now, fear it will push her away. 180 would be to come out and ask...is this ok?
2. I have been expressing my feelings to anyone who will listen. I think I am at a poit where I can control them 80% of the time. I have discussed my past feelings with W. Prolly not at a point where I can discuss current, as they may push her away.
3. Getting into some sort of shape. Didn't push biking with W b/c she had been working out for so long, I felt I would slow her down. (IDIOT!)
Going to take dogs for a bit on weekends. Keeps me busy, stay in touch w/ dogs, adds to getting in shape (will walk at parks).
Trying to engage people and talk to them. Will help me to make friends. Would like chance to interact with W's new friends again. What will the results be:
A. I feel better physically. I have more energy and a positive outlook.
B. I have wonderfully stronger and closer realtionships with many friends, as well as with my parents. I have learned the value of a true friend, and the importance of family. I will never take either for granted again. If my W will try, we will have an open and honest line of communication that will be the foundation of a M like I never imagined (or allowed myself to fully explore).
C. My W will feel that I understand her, that I am willing to talk to her openly. That I will not judge her. My W will feel loved in a way she has not for many months at least.

Will I get there on all 3 counts??? Just have to stay tuned, these are the days of our lives