It could be that my W had a one night stand at our lowest low last year, when she was in FL for a month. Now, she is having trouble overcoming the shame and guilt and, probably rightfully, afraid of what my reaction would be. She may need to feel as though I won't kick her out of the house, use it as a lever in any D settlement, or throw it in her face somewhere down the line, or use her guilt as a club to beat her with whenever I felt like it.
If this is the case, she may be waiting:
1) to be able to trust that, whatever my reaction, she will be able to cope, and still have a relationship / intact family. Largely dependent on trusting that my love for her will result in forgiveness.
or
2) for enough time to go by to where she believes my reaction will be muted by the effects of time - again allowing forgiveness
or
3) until she just doesn't care what my reaction is anymore, waiting for the last bit of love to wither.
or
4) for me to cheat, allowing a tit-for-tat (heh, tit) situation where she would feel less ashamed or guilty.
This is all largely conjecture, but I could see it playing out that way. The thing is, it really doesn't matter in the long run. My goals and direction won't really change based on any of those scenarios. Just thinking that if this is the case, time and attitude are all that's ever going to matter.
LM
LM
Lucky me, I could have been someone else FOREVER! Whew, that was close!
