Not having read your situation in whole, is the letter a good idea? I ask if it is a 180 for you? Does she respond well to letters? Usually the given around here is not to write them or if you do write them, don't send them.
Now, if you really do plan on sending it. I would say, Drop this line: except the Sun evening in CA. and the drive home on Monday, when I was being a total ass as usual.
Also, when you list some of the things that she said you did in the marriage that hurt her, I would leave out the there may even be others, but those are the ones you told me about line. and the part where you remember them but they never stood out in your mind. I would say that you remember them but take out the part where it didn't stand out in your mind.
The part where you tell her she is doing great at becoming independent and the list that follows is a little condescending. Like a parent talking to a child. I would drop that.
Trip it does help. I appreciate your input. Thank you.
I have written about 5 letters to her in the past year and she has responded to one to them. They were are pursuing type letters and I have learned now that that was wrong and so I do not see them as being a very good idea. I do not know if this letter is a good idea or not. But, I know what is in it are things I want to express to her and I know I would not be able to do it in person without it taking a turn for the worse. Any suggestions?
“Do you want to be RIGHT or want to be LOVED” “You have to have a life to share a life with someone” “When you stop resisting, you start learning”
Nugget- I believe you had mentioned getting a certain e-book in a different thread; did you get it? If so, is it helpful? Is it worth $80? Is that what prompted you to write the letter?
If you didn't get the book mentioned..Never mind
I did get a copy and read it yesterday. It had some very helpful information overall and is worth reading. But it is no where near worth paying $79 for it or even $15. It is very poorly written and a lot of repetition, but like I say I felt is was worth reading. I found a pdf copy of it online and printed it for free. Here is the link. http://www.moneymakingwebsites.com/ebook.pdf
“Do you want to be RIGHT or want to be LOVED” “You have to have a life to share a life with someone” “When you stop resisting, you start learning”
My W called after work as she always does to talk to our son. We had talked a bit last week about starting to go to the gym together again like we were before we S. She asked me if I would like to go today and I told he I would like to go, but I have other plans, if we could go tomorrow that would be better for me. She said that would be good, she was a little tired after her Monday anyway. She said well I will go over to (friends) house then, is it ok if I take (son) so he can play. I said that would be great. That way I can get done what I need to this afternoon.
I had gone to the floral store today to get her a simple sunflower arrangement (her favorite) to give to her when I give her the letter. I was planning on giving it to her when I picked up our S from her later. But, when she got to our house she came in to use the bathroom, so I decided to give them to her now. I told her “Here I have something’s for you” (her mail, the flowers and the letter). Her face lit up. She said with a very excited tone "Flowers for me, why?" I replied “Because you deserve them for just being you.” To which she replied "They are so beautiful and they are sunflower my favorite. But, I do not deserve them." I said "But, of course you do." I told her that I was heading out for a couple of hours to take care of something’s and that I would call when I was heading back home to pick up S. She said that sounds great, call me. And she then again thanked me for the flowers. As she was heading out the door she commented to our son "See my beautiful flowers, aren't they so pretty." Made me feel good.
“Do you want to be RIGHT or want to be LOVED” “You have to have a life to share a life with someone” “When you stop resisting, you start learning”
No news. Just got done picking up me son from her. She was very polite, but at the same time a little reserved.
Weired things is that my S called me twice while I was away tonight and just said hi dad and I would reply hi back to him and he would say do you want to talk to mom? The first time I said sure. She got on and said "Your son wanted to talk to you, so he called you." I replied "Well he just hi dad, do you want to talk to mom?" I said "That is ok. I am heading back and will see you guys in about an hour". She said "See you then." He then called me again a few minutes a later. We went through the same conversation. Hi dad. Hi son. Do you want to talk to mom. This time i replied no that is ok. And he said ok good bye.
I would like to get her feedback on the letter, but I am not sure how. I know she will not write me back, pretty sure anyway. I am thinking about giving her a few days and then send her an email just politely asking her for her thoughts or for some feedback. Any thoughts on what I should do?
“Do you want to be RIGHT or want to be LOVED” “You have to have a life to share a life with someone” “When you stop resisting, you start learning”
I know you are both right. I just need to stop trying to fix it and have patience and give her her space. I just can't seem to do it. Talk about lack of willpower.
So her is another question I ask. As of lately she seems to want to spend a lot of time with me, going to dinner, to the movies, to the gym etc. Should I continue accepting her invitations or distance myself? I am thinking a bit of both.
“Do you want to be RIGHT or want to be LOVED” “You have to have a life to share a life with someone” “When you stop resisting, you start learning”
