back to square -1 or -10000

[cat03]

thanks hon, perhaps, yes, it would be easier to let this be his desicion, I'm afraid I'm going to hate him for it thought, there is that primal feeling that he doesn't deserve it so why should he go? when he went off on me on Sat he mentioned how he felt under a microscope, smothered (I told him long ago if her come home drunk better not bother coming in, and I had checked his history on the web and found porn and brought it up)

Anyways........... I thought about that, him going his way and me the other way for vacation, I might just do that. We are both going to a new C on thursday, if she can't help him addecuatly with his ADHD then we'll go back to the other C, he's out of pocket but just found out it wouldn't be too much what I'd had to pay.

He has no sence of right and wrong right now, confessed tome he has the urge to run away out of guilt and working things out, afraid of the work at the C.

I think I need to go to Trader Joe's and get a massive dose of dark chocolate and a good movie and veg out on the couch tonight and forget my troubles for a bit... he was going to (not anymore, has to work) take kids to a cabin 3hrs away for 2 days (I have tons of work) and I was planning to just be out, go to a club and just act like im single and forget all his crap...yess, i'm that fed up.

But, for better perhaps, it didn't work out.