It is NOT your desire for desire that is a problem. IT is your clinging to the desire that appears to be causing an issue.
I've been pondering Cemar and his "how do you make her desire" issue.
Here are some of those thoughts.
I don't think Cemar (Cemar, bear with me and correct me after you've read the rest) really wants his wife to desire him.
Because, if she was incapacitated physically and cried every day with her sexually longing for him (and the physical inability to do anything about it) - he wouldn't be satisfied and he wouldn't be validated. So, it can't be desire alone.
Cemar wants his wife to give him mindblowing, semen-swallowing blowjobs. Cemar wants his wife to grab his parts, thrust her tongue down his throat, and hump him seven ways from Sunday. If she chose to do this because she was having a midlife crisis (no increase in sexual desire) and wanted to see if she still had it in her - I don't think Cemar would be using his desire dipstick to see what her level was with a resultant decrease in sexual satisfaction.
He has the equation that sexual desire = great sex so in order for there to be great sex there must be great desire.
This just isn't necessarily true.
And by moving it into the realm of desire and out of the realm of "here are some sexual activities I want to explore and I want you to be an active participant in them with me" Cemar has set up a situation in which he is a perpetual victim in which he is incapable (and not responsible to take any actions) of making any impact.
