Trying to set those goals!

[Dom R]

I dont know anything about "homer's book".
That being said;

I don't want any hot and heavy relationship; just some validation from the opposite sex that I'm not a complete failure as a woman. Is that so wrong?

Probably

Look at it this way: You dont really want validation from "a man". What you really want, is validation from your husband. But you're not getting it. So you're starting to look elsewhere for fulfilling your "emotional needs".
you know where that eventually leads to.

Yeah, you might be able to keep a lid on it. Or, you might get to the point where it feels so comforting, that you dont particularly want to any more. Playing with fire.

Maybe look at it another way:
Why do you need "validation" that you're not a "complete failure as a woman"?

Personally, i think you're just playing mind games with youself, that you're lonely, and want affection. but you're couching it in "PeeCee" terms that you're not "looking for affection", but "looking for validation". How convenient. Ahem.

When you're looking for attention "as a woman", I figure that means you are man-hunting. you want male attention.
Where does that lead?


You are you. You are a good person. Be happy with yourself, for you. Look after yourself. Be happy with yourself.
Not because any external person says it. but because you know you are doing the right thing, in YOUR terms.

If you are lonely, try to seek female companionship. you'll still miss your husband.. but i think it helps the little voice screaming inside, "I'm SO LONELY! I want COMPANY!!!!"
I havent figured it all out myself. but I think the magic mindset might be, trying to be happy being single. (ie: not looking for a "date")



I'm being a bit hipocritical.. i know I want company, and I'm not specifically seeking male company. (well, I WOULD, if the guys at work I get along with, lived closer. sigh. and I' not a sports/beer/guns kinda guy, so typical "guy bonding" stuff doesnt cut it for me.)
Instead, I'm seeking group companionship, so I dont get myself into TOO much trouble. Its a mixed group, so i get to chat with males and females. (meetup.com, has various groups in assorted areas of interest)
I've been to 2 events so far.
There are some women there that I know I would reeeaally enjoy chatting to, and spending time with, on a one-on-one basis.
But I ALSO know, i'd get myself into trouble eventually if I did that.
So I dont.

The groups i've been to so far, turn out to be mostly female. I'd ENJOY actually spending some "buddy time" with some guy i met from there. But no-one yet has "clicked". It takes a long time for me to make friends, and I dont really have any regular ones right now. Hopefully, you already have some "girlfriends" you can go hang out with. Go do so.

As a contrast... last weekend , I just vegged at home by myself, the whole weekend. watched tv, played games, read books. Was good, overall.