Trying to set those goals!

[Trixi]

Dom R, thanks for the page number. I'll check it out.

I can see why you say going dark is serious stuff. I don't really want to write a plan b letter and go thru an intermediary, etc. That seems extreme (kinda) and I'm not sure it would get me to my ultimate goal. I don't think he is treating me poorly (per se). I mean, I don't believe he is being malicious or even inconsiderate. He is just moving forward while I watch him go and it hurts like hell.

The only advantage to going dark really is that I wouldn't be subjected to any further hurt. When he talks about his life and what he is doing, I know it shouldn't hurt me, but it does.

I know I should have faith that everything will work out for the best (whatever that is) and for short periods of time, I do believe that. But then I think about this or that good quality of his and I miss him. Or I just feel like a rejected old hag who's going to die all alone. Probably the biggest advantage I can see to Homer's approach is that a person's self esteem can be bolstered. I don't want any hot and heavy relationship; just some validation from the opposite sex that I'm not a complete failure as a woman. Is that so wrong?