Thanks for the perspective. I do agree that a large part of what I am going through is a soul-searching journey, and that this is something everyone does at all stages of their lives.
The adolescence thing has to do with the fact that I was not allowed to date or even have many friends until I left home. I lived in a small German village with about 200 people in it, about 3 of which spoke good English. The only time I hung out with "friends" was at school, and even then I had to stay focused on school because anything less than straight A's was met with a beating. That changed a little as I got into high school, primarily because the beating required became so severe that I think my father was afraid of it getting reported. But still I had NO experience with women growing up, except my mother. But as I stated before she rarely showed love directly to us. Then when I got to college, I was at a top 25 university that (at the time) had the highest average parent's salary in the nation. So I was thrust into an environment with people who had $100,000+ debutante parties and drove BMW's. Needless to say it wasn't until my junior year in college that I started to even approach women, and then I failed miserably until I met my W.
So I didn't get a chance to make all of those mistakes that we all make with R's growing up. And I made a lot of mistakes with my M that I wasn't even aware of (consciously) until 2 years ago. Now I am going through all the phases of "growing up" that I didn't do before. That is all that I mean by the phrase "going through adolescence." I'm not beating myself up, just putting a name to the struggles I am having so that I can more effectively work on a solution.
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
