That's up to her; what's it to me? I would imagine that if she's into her sexuality then she does desire sex, but that doesn't necessarily mean she desires *me*. One might argue that if she's fully into her sexuality and is having open, connected sex with me then that mean she desires me but again, that's her business. I don't need to know what's in her head. I'm just there in the moment with her.
Interesting. Isn't it the case that seeking validation during sex is basically the same thing as being self-conscious or "spectatoring" during sex and not being in the moment? One thing I've noticed about myself is that I actually have the tendency to sometimes positively or happily spectator during sex. It's like the monkey-girl part of my psyche will be yelling out from the merry-go-round of sex to the cow/lion part of my psyche something like "Look at me. I'm having fun!" Then it's like a sensual image is seared in my memory and that becomes what my little dopamine seeking monkey-girl wants to do again and again and frequently it's difficult for me to separate the instance of sex from the man with whom I shared the instance. It's like I'm convinced that there's only one house in town that has good crack because I associate the dopamine or oxytocin high with all the sensual specifics and context of the moment. I would say that maybe I should follow your suggestion and engage in some non-fantasy oriented MB but the fact is that I don't feel much urge to MB at all without fantasy. If there aren't any cookies in the house and I don't think about the cookies at the store, I pretty much just forget about cookies except maybe once a month.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
