WAW1978's adventures in DB'ing -3

[Gone Dancin']

((((waw)))))

Everytime I read about how much you're hurting, I hurt right along with you. I'm so sorry you are struggling so much right now.

I have a lot of guilt about being the one who is unhappy.

I can understand this, but try not to. You have a right to feel the way you do. They are your feelings, and your H has done much to hurt you. Your feelings are valid -- don't forget that. H sounds like he is getting a little better (?), but it also sounds like he is still hoping for a quick fix. He's just not there yet in terms of really empathizing with what you're going through emotionally. I think he will, in time. I believe the IC session(s) he will do with your MC will help with this, because you won't be in the room and things will get more in the open for him as a result (IMO).

Try not to dwell on the trip too much. You know it would likely be counterproductive, or stale at best right now, so think of it like this is the better thing for you right now. How long will he be gone? Will you have your D during that time? Do things for you and your D (if you have her). Even though you'll be doing a lot of moving and arranging with your new place, do your best to make time for yourself. This time away from H will be good for both of you (and he may even get a reality check while he's gone -- maybe even a kick in the arse from his family?).

I often wonder if I will ever be "in love" with him again...some days I wonder why I would even want to after the hell I have been through.

My answer to this is: You're still here aren't you? If he comes around and you guys work out your issues in open, honest, and healthy ways, don't you think this is possible?

Stay strong. You've done so well, waw -- don't give up yet!

GD