yes, my H is the same. I want to scream at him when he does that YOU DONT LIVE HERE ANYMORE, REMEMBER?
But I don't? Why is that?
I need to ask everyone's opinion.
I woke up in the middle of the night and could not sleep, decided to write H a letter to get it off my mind, because it was what was bothering me.
I ran across a copy of an email from almost 3 years ago, when I suspected his first EA. In it, he was complaining to a friend about how he works two jobs and I don't appreciate it, that I am not caring for the children the way I should, that I spend too much time at the computer, etc. I have to agree, I was starting up an at home business so that he would not have to work two jobs, and was burning the midnight oil and sometimes the kids did not get their homework completed etc. But I was doing it for us, but he didn't see that, and I can see where I should have slowed down a bit. In that same email he mentioned his current OW as you know the supervisor who flirts with me. So even though I have told him, that she had her eyes on him long before he knew, he said no that is not true. Now I am re-reading it with a new understanding and there it is in black and white. Just a little background as to what kept me up and why I wrote the following.
H, I wanted to just let you know how grateful I am that you are and have always been a hard working and dedicated father. I never said thank you for all the times that you sacrificed your life and countless hours of sleep while working two jobs for years so that I could be home with our children. Thank you for years of dedication and love that you showed to me by everything you did. I am sorry for any pain or hurt my actions, comments, or lack of actions or comments caused.
Me
ok is this pittiful? this is what was on my heart. Yes I know it takes two, but he keeps telling me that I have not accepted my responsibility in the breakdown in our marriage. I think by giving him this I will get two things across. That yes I see where I was wrong, and accept responsibility, and also it is words of affirmation. I am figuring out that is my H's love language. That is something I did not show him enough of. I think by doing this, he can no longer be angry at me, and maybe he will have to start looking within, and think if I can figure out my wrong in all this, he will start to look at his own issues?
but am I grasping? is this considered pursuing? he probably is not ready for this. It is not negative, it does not back him in a corner, it does not guilt, or condemn. it is just what was on my heart in the middle of the night.
