Thanks Matt and Dis, I guess I've been taking on a lot of undue guilt over the whole sex thing. I've been taking her at her word that's how I made her feel. It's hard to not trust someone you trusted totally for 16 years. But, I'm just realizing that she's not worthy of trust, especially when it comes to her opinion about me or about how she feels or the truth of our marriage and R.
Puddle, Oddly enough, I'm not really angry. Just very disappointed. This isn't the person that I thought I had married. This is someone scared of recommitting to a good man and a good marriage because her thoughts are clouded by her feelings for someone else.
Dis, I could play hardball and stay in the house. After all, I have pictures of the OM with her while we're still married. But, really, what would that accomplish? It would kill any chance of us being together (which, depending on the minute, I'm still open to). Cost a lot of money. And expose our kids to a lot of anger and we'd most likely end up hating each other. There's a real chance right now that I'm going to end up not liking her very much, but don't want to grow to hate her. Plus, I really don't want to live here anymore. It's not home. And, I've mentioned this before, but I've never really had my own place. That's actually kind of exciting.
To everyone, yes, going to do my best to be a great dad to my girls. They are very unsure of things right now. I almost cried this morning. My oldest asked me if I could leave a few things of mine behind in case I moved back in I would still have some things at home.
It's gotta get better, right?
BD
My latest
Me: 36 W: 35 2 D: 9 and 5 T: 16 years M: 12 10/4/06: Bomb 10/5/06: Ended A 4/22/07: ILYBNILWY
