I'm so sorry all this is going on for you. The talk with the kids just broke my heart, and I'm dreading the same thing (including major anger from my oldest). The advice to put the focus on your kids is solid. I can't imagine what it's like for them, but it must feel like the fear we feel but x 1000. They're helpless in all this.
I hope that your anger will give way to detachment, that true zen state that others who've reached it have described. As hard as all this has been on you, I imagine the hardest part is just starting for your W. She's in for a rough ride, and I know you're expecting the roller coaster. I wish you courage and peace.
