I know this threads title is "Still Separated and Hopeful"...I am waning on the hope...
Frank you have some good stuff here...
I am preparing to go black or at lest dark grey...we have 4 kids 2 at home so it makes it a bit more difficult....we are 21 days out till our D day ...I have had other attempts at this and she has drug me back in to her web...it is not easy w/kid's...so many things to talk about every day...I am going to go to, email & text to communicate...I am also going to try to keep the contact to an absolute minimum ( difficult when I pick up the kids everyday from school, we have shared custody ) ..I guess I will have to go run an errand before she gets to the house...I hate all of this crap,it is so,so wrong !!!
I am not sure about making the friends statement...
"We will NOT be friends. We will be FRIENDLY, but not FRIENDS"
...this is how I feel, but I will wait for the moment to make it...she will press me on this soon enough ...
I appreciate all the support and any tips any of you all might give me... now I need to flesh this thing out and do it...thats all SorryDog
Me 47 W 42 D 20 S 18 D 13 S 11 Married 17 yrs Asked for D Mothers Day PA found out on 6/14/07 W filed D 7/3/07 D court date 9/10/07 W moved out 7/17/07
That sounds good "We will NOT be friends. We will be FRIENDLY, but not FRIENDS". You will always have to have contact because of the kids, and that communication shouldn't ever be 'dark'. I have told H that no matter what, we still have to parent and be there for them, on the same page.
HB & SD: Love the wording: Friendly but not friends.
I intend to deliver those exact words to her once I reach the "point of no return." I will say that I can be your husband. But I will never be your friend. You have treated me with such utter disrespect for far too long. As I husband, I can work through the necessary forgiveness of all this pain. But friends do not treat each other with the contempt and disrespect that you have delivered to me. If this is how you treat somebody with whom you want to nurture a friendship, then I wish you godspeed. I am not desperate for friends.
how do you no when you have reached the point of no return ? ...is it now ?... is it the day of the divorce ?... I can not get a clear handle on when that is going to be...at this moment I am not sure I have anything to lose...I considering giving her back my wedding ring and watch,2 gifts of love the day of the D...I have also been journaling in the last 20 days w/ the idea of giving to her as well ...just stuff whirling through my head...I am a hurting pup at the moment,everything is piling up in front of the D day...Thats all SooryDog
just heard an awesome song by Mercy Me ..the words hit the right spots
I can count a million times_People asking me how I_Can praise You with all that I've gone through__The question just amazes me_Can circumstances possibly_Change who I forever am in You__Maybe since my life was changed_Long before these rainy days_It's never really ever crossed my mind__To turn my back on you oh Lord_My only shelter from the storms_But instead I draw closer through these times__So I pray__Chorus:_Bring me joy, bring me peace_Bring the chance to be free_Bring me anything that brings You glory_And I know there'll be days_When this life brings me pain_But if that's what it takes to praise You_Jesus Bring the Rain__I am Yours regardless of_The dark clouds that may loom above_Because You are much greater than my pain__You who made a way for me_By suffering Your destiny_So tell me what's a little rain ?
Me 47 W 42 D 20 S 18 D 13 S 11 Married 17 yrs Asked for D Mothers Day PA found out on 6/14/07 W filed D 7/3/07 D court date 9/10/07 W moved out 7/17/07
how do you no when you have reached the point of no return ? ...is it now ?... is it the day of the divorce ?... I can not get a clear handle on when that is going to be...
You have reached the point of no return when you give up. It is that simple! I will just say that most people fail to reach their goals because they give up because it is too hard (whatever the goal).
I was very close to giving up last week when I figured out that my W is stealing and lying on top of cheating. Then I contemplated the reasons that I was standing for my M and realized that they all still hold. This is a test of us and our ability to love even in the face of great pain. If you believe in the vows you took,esp. "in good times and in bad", how can you walk away from your S in this, the worst of times?
SD (not SorryDog, but SuperDad)
Me 41 W 41 Kids: S9 S7 Married 16 years Bomb dropped 2/2/07 Still living together! current thread
You have reached the point of no return when you give up. It is that simple! I will just say that most people fail to reach their goals because they give up because it is too hard (whatever the goal).
well said SD...it has been said many times, that many successful people wanted to give up right before their breakthrough...I am not giving up only changing a few of the rules....thats all....SorryDog
Me 47 W 42 D 20 S 18 D 13 S 11 Married 17 yrs Asked for D Mothers Day PA found out on 6/14/07 W filed D 7/3/07 D court date 9/10/07 W moved out 7/17/07
She'll notice, trust me.