WAW filing for D

[dlt1]

Hi, not much time this a.m. Short version:
W calls Sat ant noon "Are we getting together today?"
"Yes, I need to get some thing"
"Ok"
When?
Don't know
me - "2:30, that way I can get what I need and be back by 4 or so"
When I get there I pet dogs then go pay bills. Come down and she asks about hoe we go about dividing thigs. I say, I don;t know, never done it before
We talk about some larger items.
I mention debating between a PODS or reg storage.
W - "It's not like I'm kicking you out (remember this folks) you can leave things here until you get settled."
me - "I'm going to be at F's for at least 6-8 mos, maybe longer."
W - "That's fine, you can leave things here, I don;t want you to have to pay for storage"
Me - "Well, I would be uncomfoprtable with leaving anythig here."
We cut to small talk, very good convo. I finish packing while she leaves to grocery.
As I am leaving, my F whose house I'm living at calls. We talk about the 3rd girl who is movig in, as well as his schedule when he is back in country 1st week~ish of Sept. Looks like no room at the Inn for dlt1. NO biggie, I still have a house and may just have to go back there for the week. Debated calling W yet. Decided I did not want to spring it on her last minute, so call to talk. Tell her it is a possibility I could have to come home for a bit. She's not sure she is Ok with that. Suggests a few friend's. on with 6 mo old, one w/ 2 cats (I'm allergic). I tell her I will look into options, just wanted to be upfront with her so it was not something I dropped on her last minute. She's still uncomfortable with it, and I quote..."You could get a hotel room if you had to." (Recall above statement of not kicking me out!)
Me- (There's no way in hell I will be getting a hotel room when I have a perfectly good house to be at. I've been incovenienced plenty and am not trapsing around town with a bag in tow."
I did regin it in and left it at "Look, this would be a last reort, I just wanted to give you the courtesy of being upfront so we can talk about it beforehand and figure how to handle it if neccessary."
My parents came in town, very nice to hang with them. Talked about M some, but a lot just about my future and moving on. Good time.
Had a cookout Sun, nice to have friends over. Tell them about W's hotel suggestion. Realized that soem F's going on Labor Day vacation with me are extending theirs all week, so I can stay there. Would help them with watching the dog too. So, it all works out. I left W a msg that evening letting her know we should be good.
It amazes me the wall she has put up to block any emotion towards me. She has a ways to go. Damn, I wish she'd just back up and take sometime. We can sit and talk for a long time like nothing ever happened. Then, she brings up Divorce and it's like this shield comes down over her. Hard for me to believe she does not love me at all. I can see it. She is controlling the end so that it is on her terms. She's afraid that this is where I was headed with her, this way she does not get hurt b/c she controls it. Comes back to her horse dying years ago I think. In the next few weeks I hope to talk to her about that. I really have no idea if there is a future for us, but I would like to get thorugh these things so that we can at least look at the R without clouded judgement. Oh well, I can hope in one hand and Sh*t in the other...LOL