The comment about it not being the OM , I got this , that it was over before OM . Thats BS , I know we were in trouble but the minute they bring another R into the mix and make the decision to pursue that rather than to try and work on thier own M is wear the mistake is made. Then they delude themselves into justifying what they have done.
I can't agree more with what C_K said! But, There was definitly trouble in all of our R's that caused them to become attracted to someone else. When we become aware of the problem it is usually too late.
BD...I know you said you mouthed "we don't have to do this" to your wife but I think you really do. To get past this, I think you more or less have to let this run its course and let her discover for herself what a mistake she is making. Maybe then she will want to try again on a new R with you.
By me saying you have to do this, I don't mean get divorced but a separation might do you some good. I know this will be very tough on the kids and have a lasting impact but I think an unhappy H and W will have the same effects.
