Madonna/Whore Part 8 (aka Attachment Therory)

[Heywyre]

BTW, has your counselor or this new guy been able to do any FOO work with your H? His anger is very deep seated and I do not believe it comes from your relationship with him.

It is DEFINITELY from his past - both counsellors have said that. He still hasn't made an appointment with the new guy (still holding out on that one because he is an in-your-face kinda guy and the last T said he won't let you get away with anything). I think this is EXACTLY what my H needs - headon , but I am also concerned (and so is the last T) that it will make him throw up his hands and say forget it.

He has suppressed his emotions for so long he not only doesn't know how to express them, he doesn't even believe he has them (thus the line "I can't give you what you need"). He is convinced he just doesn't have it in him to express what I am portraying to him. I, on the other hand, can see right through his facade. I used to think that maybe I was just "wanting" to see that other side of him but the T told me he has a wall around him too (and interestingly enough, he was visiting with his oldest daughter the other day and what did she tell him "I sense a wall around you, just like me" - she also has some minor depression problems) so perhaps he will reflect on that too.

Now, the "wall" - as much as he believes I can sense something he cannot relate to, he doesn't have a clue as to how to change that and that's where the "I am who I am" comes in - and the "I can't change my personality" The last time he said that, I told him "I am not asking you to change your personality, I don't want you to do that because that's the man I fell in love with, what I am asking is for you to look inside yourself and reflect on how you can change your behaviour"