There and Back, #2

[SallyM]

thanks all. hey, 789, if you were closer, I'd make a big batch and send them on over. and I'd make sure that the pans were still in the sink, the aroma still lingering in the kitchen, when h came over to see the kids...but not a cookie in sight. lol. as for the lines in the sand, I've done so many, and stepped back each time he's crossed them. and I am starting to hate myself for it. where is that line? not sure. I have been standing firm on the separation, at least...and yeah, he has wanted to come home, not to work on the marriage, not to give her up, just for the convenience of it. HA. there, that's my line, I guess. fu.

cards no cookies, that's it, jack. yep, gonna do it that way. the lawyers I spoke to were under 50% by a bit, but hey, if he's willing to go there, to alieve his guilt or whatnot, or if I heard the lawyers wrong, woo-hoo for me! I know I'm not compelled to get a job until the youngest is 7. I'd just like some time to figure out what I'd actually like to do, so I'm not stuck doing something I hate, and missing the time with the kids. I know many people do it, but if I don't have to, I don't want to. an yeah, I could live pretty comfortably on 50%. in fact, on the amount he's talking, I wouldn't even need to sell the house, at least not right away. the $ security is something that makes me a little crazy right now.

stupidromeo, yep, know that pain. I can't even seem to see other guys as attractive right now...literally, I look around, and have yet to find one who compares to H. what I need to do is stop seeing him as the man I knew, and start seeing him as the man he really is. maybe that will take some of the luster off.

just off the phone with one of my best friends. she's a therapist (lives in florida, so unfortunately not close by). I have this little fantasy that she locks H in a room somewhere and has at him. she'd really like to about now. lol. anyway, she gave me some homework to do. I like constructive things like that...they stop the spiral for me, help me concentrate on something productive, that might help provide me with some insight here.