how twisted is this? tonight, the day I learned that he is definitely with her, in every way possible, I am missing him more than ever? how sad is that? wtf is wrong with me, people?
the man keeps telling me that he doesn't know what he wants, that he hasn't made his choice. but in every way possible, except to verbally state it to me, he has. He is with her in every sense of the word. he has told me over and over that he no longer loves me. that he is no longer in love with me. that he is in love with her. that he should have seen things in my long ago that would have made him realize we were a mistake together.
why can't I just let him go? I've told him it was over, I have told him I deserve better. why can't I just accept that my husband is no longer my husband.
I just feel so...rejected.
I know I'm just blubbering today...lots of blubbering, crying, sniveling, feeling sorry for myself. just a stupid, sad, little woman, who can't get it through her thick skull that her H isn't the man she thought he was. why can't I accept that he isn't? why???? what is it going to take?
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
