thanks I am having a particularly difficult day today. My 28th wedding anniversary is 6 days away. I thought I had done a good job of detaching but now... I am not so sure. I feel like so much of the choice has been taken away from me. I am sending my h a card to mark our anniversary. It says: "You and I are connected in a way that goes...beyond romance, beyond freindship, beyond what we've ever had before... We're soul mates. I can't explain it. I just feel it."
I also wrote a note DearXXX I wanted to acknowledge this, our 28th and final wedding anniversary. It has certainly been quite a journey that we have shared from teenagehood ( can you remember the kids we once were) to where we each find ourselves today. Like you, I would not trade a single moment of it for anything in the world. Thank you for all the precious memories, and for two of the most incredible gifts a mother couold wish for, our children. I wish you all the happiness you can handle. With much love and friendship, love always XXXx
I have no expectations for sending this save that I want to mark the day and I do thank him for the gifts and sincerely wish him much happiness.
I'm so sorry...special occasions - anniversaries, birthdays - are so hard. But know that they won't pass unnoticed by him either, probably not for the rest of his life. We're here for you through this time.
The grass may be greener, but then again, it may also be astroturf. ~Amy C Brown
I'm so sorry, trekker. I know you just want that day to be over and done with already. *hugs*
My H left Oct 3rd. Our 5th anniversary was Oct 20th. I sat at home and got drunk by myself. My best friend called to try and cheer me up, but it didn't work. H told me that he didn't really have any trouble at all getting through the day but, "I'm just a heartless bastard though, so that shouldn't be a surprise, right?"
Last edited by Ophelia; 08/20/0704:31 AM.
Me:30 H:30 Together:10yr H left:Oct3'06,couple weeks before 5th wed anniv. No Kids OW bomb:Jan19'07 My thread: He filed.
Prodigal - Just a quick word to say bless you! Bless you for having the courage and caring to come on this site and offer insights that almost no one else can. We love you for it! More later.
Larry
M 63 W 40 M 4/91 S14/D9 bomb 7/6/07 D filed 8/3/07 final 2/4/08 thread
Dear Prodigal - thanks for being willing to give people a look inside the head of a "cheater"...And for your candor in admitting your mistake. My specific question is on any potential phrase that can be used to make a spouse aware of what is at stake in the situation...I mean: I hear constantly from my spouse "I don't know what to do", "it's a conundrum", "I just can't decided" and countless other weenie comments that keep her from taking any responsibilty for our future. Did you babble like that?
I have a shovel and I'm not afraid to use it. Stubby
I did, indeed, babble at my husband, attempt to draw him into my fantasy world where the OM and I belonged together. Needless to say, he wasn't buying. Honestly, not much he said stuck with me at the time, except the one time he lost his temper and called me a slut. It was like he had physically struck me...sometimes I wish he had. It's easier to recover from the physical pain. But he was right, and it did manage to break through my delusions that the man who had always believed the best of me was being so cruel. To get that response I knew I ad to have hurt him pretty deeply.
The grass may be greener, but then again, it may also be astroturf. ~Amy C Brown
thanks I am immensely proud of them.They have not liked the OW from the first moment they met her. There was something not right ...they thought she was phoney and manipulative then. I had a tough weekend but am actually grateful that I had that time to clear out the clutter so to speak, pack it away and get on the the possibilities of Annie's life. It was hard to pack up 33 years but very renewing for the soul.
Are you still in contact with OM? If so, how in the world do you justify that? Do you realize that this it is pathetically selfish and deplorable that you would deliberately hurt your husband in such a manner? If not, what the hell took you so long to cut off all contact with him?
I suggest you wake up if you are still in contact with OM. If you are, your affair continues.
It's easier to recover from the physical pain. But he was right, and it did manage to break through my delusions that the man who had always believed the best of me was being so cruel. To get that response I knew I ad to have hurt him pretty deeply.