Alright, I love this board there are so many success stories and every is so positive here.
I have read stories that I knew for sure where bound for complete destruction, and in the end turned out wonderful. It truly amazes me.
I have been posting on another website, and though I have gotten alot of good advice from some special people, I have had my share of doubters and naysayers.
I have been going through this rollercoaster ride for about 3 months now and I will recap as briefly as possible my story. If you care to venture to another board just to get caught up you can click here for my story up until now..
So heres the deal, I have been married almost nine years it will be nine on the 21st of August which is in two days.
I have not been the best husband in her eyes, I did not think I was that bad, I will not go through all the good things I did but will explain all the bad things that brought me to this point in my life, although I feel I did many great things for our family.
I did not show her enough respect, I did not make her feel valued and appreciated. I took her love for granted (sounds like a song) I basically did not make the woman of my dreams feel very special.
so two month ago she left me, during the time up until the move out we were still sleeping in the same bed, we made love once but she felt so guilty that we have not made love since.
heres where I am confused. Even though she was withdrawn up until the move I still was intimate in other ways with her and she was receptive. there were hugs, I love you's, she even would tell me she was "In" love with me when I asked her although it took her a few seconds of thought before she would say it. I would massage her, shave her while she showered.
Yes she still left, she said she had too.
after she left she was hot and cold, sometimes she would come over and we would snuggle and watch a movie, the next day she would be distant.
I eventually found out that there was another man, I found out by going in her car and in her cell phone. I found pics and text messages that totally crushed my soul.
since then she still has not come around, she did tell that she ended it with him, Im not sure I believe that based off of the texts.
they where telling eachother how much they loved one another and all kind of crap. She said she broke it off the day before I found out, seems like to much of a coincidence to me considering she spent the night at his house the night she claims she ended it.
she said she slept on the couch though because it was late and didnt want to drive home.
Anyways, she did call once crying about how sorry she was, and all that but she still is being distant and actually went to go see an attorney. on the 15th of august which was last week.
she said she just wanted information and did not have a follow up appt. If you want all the details you have to read my other thread it will give you more insight as to why the attorney and stuff.
We have a seven year old son who we both love to death and we trade weeks with him.
this was my week and I just relinquished him about 20 mins ago, we swap every sunday.
Up until now we haven't talked for three days, it is the longest I have ever not spoken to my wife.
she will call my son on his cellphone but will not call me, (go figure) I don't know if the OM is in the picture but I suspect he is, I can't see her just ending it that quick after being so in love as they put it.
when she came today I told her she looked nice and I gave her a hug and kiss on the cheek, she probably didnt know what I was going to do considering the only time we don't speak is if we are mad. So she probably thought I was mad.
Im not mad though I am just giving her the space she wanted, and by her not calling it tells me she really does want it. I told her that I still loved her (I know big DB mistake, and yes I have read DB, and DR) but she did not seem upset by it, normally when I say things like that she will look in my eyes as if to search for sincerity.
I also told her that I lover her for who she is, I said I love the woman who is standing in front of me at this very moment. I asked her if she was enjoying her space and she said "I don't know about enjoying it but its been alrigh" ooookay. I also probably messed up, but I said that if she is still involved with the OM that I totally understand. She kind of got upset but not really she just said "Im not even gonna commment because your just gonna believe what you want too"
as they where getting ready to leave I asked her if she wanted to do something sometime maybe catch a movie, she said yeah maybe this weekend. That was nice to hear.
she gave me a hug before she left which was also nice.
as she walked out she asked if I could watch my son on monday because she has to get up very early on tuesdays for physical fitness (we are in the military, Air Force to be exact) I paused and said after some though, please don't make a fool out of me.
alright if you read my other thread you will understand what that meant.
last monday she asked me to do the same thing and turns out she was at that OM's house. I will be damned if I watch my son so she can spend the night with another man.
She got mad and said she does not know what Im talking about, obviously she does. She just said fine Ill just drop him off. I tried to calm her down and tell her I didn't mean any harm but she left.
Oh well.
any advice from some veterans in the game,
I jumped ship from another message board hopefully I get met with a warm reception over here.
