morgan, you sound calmer, but I know inside you are just a mess. Anyone would be, even someone who has stayed strong through all of this. I know thinking of the things H has does in the last few months is definately a way for me to detach. Maybe that would help you.
About being a sahm, I wouldn't think about finding a job anytime soon. Your kids need you at home. If you are feeling like you need to job search right away, maybe you could look for a non stressful part time job somewhere (somewhere cool, where you'll get a discount! :)) and take time to figure out what you really want to do. You will be fine financially (lawyers will make sure) before you need to really start looking. What are your house plans? Staying? Moving?
Like I have said before, I would start detaching, but not giving up, just yet....
