Madonna/Whore Part 8 (aka Attachment Therory)

[Heywyre]

Things are a little tense, to say the least, right now. We had a VERY heated conversation on the phone (which I detest - I try as much as possible to have them in person but with H working strange hours, sometimes it is difficult)

But this time, it was his doing. He proceeded to ask me how I was. My response (in holding up to my end of the bargain with ST that I would express my feelings and not just say "I'm fine") I said, "I've been better but I've been a lot worse" which prompted him to dig deeper. I tried to avoid getting into any intensive conversation and said we would talk when he got home but he insisted on pushing. I, unfortunately, complied.

I told him I know I have issues too, but that I am doing the best I can to work on them and think I am doing quite well (I didn't say "the ST told me so" but it's true)

Then he got into talking about this new guy the ST referred him to and said, "no psychologist, or YOU, is going to tell me what to do" - hmmm sounds like an adult version of a temper tantrum to me. That's when I said, "therein lies the problem, you can't fix what you don't acknowledge and if we are not openminded enough to go into this positively, there's no point, it's just a waste of time and money". With that he ended the conversation with some harsh words.

Now, I know some of you will think I buckled (but, once again, I refuse to supress my feelings) but I called him back (and he wouldn't answer, so I left a message) to the effect "I am sorry our R has come to this, I don't want to argue with you anymore". and that was it.

About 5 minutes later he called and apoligized for being so harsh and said it was difficult to talk about these things when he is so far away. He said we would talk about it later when he got home.

Therein lies the next problem. I had to go visit my brother in the hospital and then do some errands. By the time I got home, it was well past supper time, and there were oodles of things HE had to do that were, of course, more important (like balance the finances - that's always more important than your marriage, isn't it?)

We VERY briefly talked about it and I am sure he thinks it is over and done with but it isn't. I am still up in the air as to what is happening in my life and I don't like this uncertainty.