"Going Dark" - 101

[theotherhalf]

The second time I went dark, however, was a different story. It was just after I found out about the OM, and it was at a time when I REALLY started to pay heed to what I was learning here. In fact, it was at the time I was in my first KLA group here. During this period of darkness, I did something different. I really started to take a closer look at things that I could do to change the dynamics of the relationship, instead of counting on her to make the changes. I didn't really change "me" that much, just took the time to figure out what different things I could do to draw her back to me. Things that weren't the same old same old way of doing things that didn't work.

I took charge of changing the dynamics of the relationship, she noticed the difference, and she started to make some changes, too. Things just grew from there. So, this was the part where it was "successful".


How do you "find different things that can draw them back to you?" I am trying to figure out things in "me" that "I" need to change about "me". Patience is a huge issue, being so clingy, and always trying to be the fixer in everything. But if there is no R. If there is a OW. And if he wants no contact with you so you see and talk to them very, very little. How do they see the changes that you are making. How do you draw their attention to you?