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HOMER

I just found this and sent it to Morgan also. Maybe we should try this together? Maybe we should just agree with everything and start dating. It might make it easier to detach.


Me:38 H:39 MLC
M:10 R:23 years
D6 S3
Bomb: Easter, 2007
"Every day may not be good, but there's something good in every day."
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I wonder about the dating thing. I do. I think it could be fun, but honestly, I'm so not ready for it. but then again, how do you get ready for it? just a date, right? just dipping your toe in the water. just remembering what its like to feel pretty, feel fun, feel sought after. not such a bad thing, maybe.


M-41
H-38
M-10 years, T-14 years
Bomb-PA 3/19/07
Separated-6/7/07
Piecing/h back home 5/08
S-6
S-4
D-4

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"

-Mary Anne Radmacher
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Yes. It is the best thing for your self-esteem, assuming you don't ate an ass.

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lol, sara. yeah. I'll try to avoid that one.


M-41
H-38
M-10 years, T-14 years
Bomb-PA 3/19/07
Separated-6/7/07
Piecing/h back home 5/08
S-6
S-4
D-4

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"

-Mary Anne Radmacher
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I just printed out his e-book to read it. I am also going to try to implement it, except number 4, not quite sure about that.


“Do you want to be RIGHT or want to be LOVED”
“You have to have a life to share a life with someone”
“When you stop resisting, you start learning”

M15yrs
Divorced 07/07
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Just got a boost for my PMA. I posted a quick profile on a match-making site, very upfront and honest. You would not BELIEVE how many responses I got!

I'm not going to do anything about it right now, but it was nice to know that I could still stir up some sparks. I need to get my self-esteen out of the toilet.

CW's H spoke to me a few minutes in the driveway. He was trimming the long grass around my mailbox (which was a nice gesture). He said that he counter-filed her legal sep suit with a D suit, and hired an atty. He is staying in the house. She got a 10pm--6am job at Target and will be moving out next week, coming back to their house during the day to watch the two smaller girls and all day/night Fri and Sat. He can only guess who she is moving in with...blech. He wants to take the girls and move out of state when it is all over--she doesn't seem to care. His court case is one week past mine, end of Nov. And he would still take her back. But she is not interested.

Oh, well. I guess H is moving ahead with this choice. And I realize that there is nothing to be done about it--it's nailed shut. Maybe after (if) their romance blows up, he might realize what he has left behind. But I can't be sure that I will still be here.

Off to finish the financial affid...
Oh, and I got the lawn mown :0) I love the smell of fresh-cut grass.

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May I ask which site and how you exactly were upfront and honest?
(I hope that's not too nosey.) \:\)


Me-43
H-46
M 12 yrs 7/09
T 15
2 grown kids
bomb 7/05/07
H moved out 8/04/07
11/22/09 told him I quit;let's get ball rolling
Mid Dec- he isn't sure he wants D
End 2/2010-Starting to consider piecing
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Donna

I am just catching up again with your sitch. I am sorry things have not worked out better for you but its a fact that we cant chage another persons course in life no matter how much we want too.
The road ahead will not be easy but it needs to be travelled.
Now is the time to accept that your H has chosen his path and leave him too it.
Is there hope? who knows but there is one thing that comes out of your posts and that is your H does not like to be pushed. If you have the strength to do one thing I think you may try it and that is accepting your H's decision and letting him know through your actions that you have accepted it . It would be a 180 ?
It will also pay dividends for your continued relationship as parents of your children.

Dave


Me 47
W 44
3 kids
Bomb Dec 06
Seperated July 07

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Donna,

Re dating. I am really not going to try to tell you what to do here. I'd suggest that you avoid actual involvement with anyone (virtual or IRL) until you are Done trying to reconcile. You'll know.

As for dating sites, I'd avoid the Match, Yahoo, and the like. There are lots of predatory people out there, and they seem more prevalent on those sites than on some other sorts of sites. At least they did when I was dating. There are plenty of single and married men just trolling for quick sex.

I'd recommend lovehappens (an ancestor of the site where I found H). If it still works the same, then it has compatibility matching tests that really do a good job. Also, it has lots of other online tests that people can share (all sorts of both serious and fun tests). I love psychological tests in general, so it was a great site for me. And, call me an elitist snob, but I screened by I.Q. (I actually felt pretty bad about that, but at the same time I knew that I wanted to date very intelligent men.)

I think eharmony is also known for good compatibility tests, but they probably don't have all the other tests.


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Great post Dave.

Maybe it helps to know that acceptance is not the same thing as endorsement.


Best,
Oldtimer
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