oh morgan, I wish I could come play with your kiddos so you can have yourself a good cry and a good long nap. You deserve both (and more!) today! Any chance of someone watching the kids for a bit, so you can pull your thoughts together? Easier said than done, I know.
My heart breaks for you. I am just so very sad. You have tried so hard, wanted so much, put yourself LAST (kids first, marriage second, then you), all to get a slap in the face. And yes, isn't it weird how we know the answers to things, but when we hear them from H's, its worse?
The thing you said about him doing what he wants is very true. I have tried so hard to get that through my skull, that no matter what I want or even try to convey, H is going to do what he wants. I mean, look at us now, this situation for both of us is not what we want (even you asking H to move out, you wouldn't have ever wanted that), but we are living through it. Kids meeting OW? OW babysitting? BARF, big huge BARF!!!!
I can only hope that if you have to go through with this, you can continue to GAL, even if its going through the motions numbly, until you realize that you are lovable, worthy, beautiful, strong, a wonderful stable mom, trustsworthy, moral, a great friend, an organized and focused person. Our H's sure don't make us feel this way, so its up to us now.
H better feel regrets and hesitation. But here's the thing. If our H's don't say these things to us or show them, how are we supposed to know? Plus, their actions are very obvious, in our face, and hurtful.
Big huge hugs!! Open those windows, do some quiet activities for the kids' sake, and get through til bedtime. Time to cry, time to organize thoughts.
